Today is March 21, 2020. That date may not be significant to most people but to me it is a date that will forever be one of the worst days of my life. It was on this day three years ago that tragedy struck, and we lost our Mandy, Scott, Lizzie and Judah to a house fire. In the blink of an eye our whole entire world was shaken and rearranged in a way that none of us were prepared for.
Reflecting on that time is never easy. It’s not supposed to be. And as the days leading up to this date have approached, I have found myself reflecting on that horrible day and the days that followed. I have pondered what, if anything I would say today.
Psalm 30:5b “weeping may endure for a night, but joy cometh in the morning.”
My word for 2020 is JOY and I’m reminded in this verse that joy always comes, regardless of the current situation. You may ask the question “how do you find joy in this”? To be honest, that is a tough question for sure, but I can honestly say that I do have joy, joy that I know where they are today. Joy that we will be reunited one day together with our gracious heavenly Father in heaven. I have joy that they are with others that have passed on. I have joy that Jesus was their personal savior. There is joy in the time that we had together. God allowed me to spend so many years with my precious Mandy. We grew up together, our story (Mandy’s and mine) is precious to me because not only did we grow up together, but I believe that God used her in my life to bring me to Him. Prior to her birth I was not on the greatest of paths. Scott and Mandy’s love story makes my heart smile and gives me great joy. God truly put them together. Lizzie brought so much joy and laughter into our lives and those memories will forever bring joy to my heart and mind. Our little Judah was indeed a gift of God and oh the joy that he brought to all of us, even if just for a short time.
Jeremiah 10:19 “Woe is me for my hurt! my wound is grievous; but I said, Truly this is a grief, and I must bear it.”
Over the last three years I have learned that grief is everlasting. Grief knows no bounds and it happens for all of us. Grief is not just in losing a person or people but can come in other forms as well. Grief does not end, there truly is no time frame on grief. I will grieve this loss for the rest of my days. Jeremiah 10:19 reminds me it is something I MUST bear. There is no choice in this. What’s important is what I do with it and how I let it affect my life.
Some days grief is in the form of tears and sad moments. When that creeps in I have learned to let it happen. I allow the tears to come. If I can share with someone about what we have been through and how God has brought us through it, I do. I simply will not allow it to consume me, but I am reminded that it is simply part of who I am not and forever will be.
Hebrews 11:1 “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”
Faith in God and the hope of what is to come is a constant reminder. Without that I know I couldn’t have walked through the last three years. God has graciously carried me, sometimes dragging me through each and every day.
My dogwood tree is blooming. It has been my favorite tree since moving here 7 years ago. Every year, without fail, it blooms. Every year just before Easter no matter what date Easter falls on. To me it is reminder every year, at this time of Jesus and what He did for us and that He will come again and reunite us all.
Today, as I reflect on this day three years ago, I choose to remember them and remember that because of Jesus we have that everlasting hope that they are with Him and one day we will be reunited. I am thankful for the time we had, the memories that we share, and that God allowed me to borrow them for a moment in time here on earth. Having them in my life is part of my story just as much as losing them is.
To Mandy, Scott, Lizzie and Judah I love and miss you all.
To all our family and friends, thank you for being part of our story and for loving us.
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Reflections and Reminders was first posted on March 21, 2020 at 11:57 am.
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